Hello, my followers! At very, very, very long last, I have a story for you.
Unfortunately for me, it is, once again... about me.
Apparently I have angered the Trickster for neglecting to tell his tales. For that, he soundly punished me. It is an amusing tale, so I'll get to it.
One day last week, my sister invited me to go to the gym with her. I decided to be good. It was an off day.
Be that as it may, I went. However, she was going to an "on-your-feet-dance-like-a-fool" workout class. I normally love this type of class. Unfortunately, my gym shoes are quite worn out, and I didn't want to risk making my feet hurt again [they had been giving me problems, and my new shoes hadn't been delivered yet - still haven't, now that I think of it... I digress].
My solution to the problem was simple. Swim! Our gym has, not one, but TWO pools. One for swimming laps, the other for Physical Therapy. And there's NEVER anyone in BOTH pools, right? Nah. [Are you sensing this bit is important? Because it is]
So we go to the gym, my sister goes in to her OYFDLAF workout class, and I head to the pool. There is a guy swimming laps in the big pool. Me, being the considerate person I am, decided to let him have the three lanes all to himself and go to the smaller, PT pool. [Aren't I just self-cons-- I mean, kind and generous?]
No sooner had I dipped into the enticingly warm water than the lovely lady who runs the front desk walks past the big windows that separate this particular pool from the PT area. Crap.
Apparently there's some rule about not swimming in the smaller pool by yourself. And there's NEVER anyone in BOTH pools, right? Nah. [Don't you just love the subtle irony? The very reason I came to this pool is the very reason I can't... oh, you got it? Good. Just checking...)
So I decide that I shall simply have to swim in the lap pool... with the young guy... *gulp*
Well, I didn't actually have to. By the time I got out of the smaller pool and headed toward the bigger one, there was another guy in the three lane pool swimming laps. An older guy. Now, it's a three-lane pool, which means there should have been room for me to swim, but, well.... guys don't share space with each other well. They have this stupid insistence on being as far away from each other as possible. That translates into, I would have had to swim in the center lane.
HOLD IT. All stop. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm self-conscious and didn't want to swim between two guys. Yes, this is true. But, I wasn't going to let that keep me from swimming. Nope, not at all. What kept me from swimming is the fact that I can't swim straight to save my life. If I can hug the wall, I'm fine. But since the guys had both of the outside lanes, that wasn't an option. And I wasn't about to risk bumping into the young guy because, hello... that could be taken as flirting O.o
And I didn't want to bump into the old guy because.... ew.
Anyway, so I retreat back to the ladies locker room, hoping that one of them will leave soon. After all, I had over an hour until my sister got out of her workout class. They couldn't stay the entire time, right? Right??
Yes, they stayed the whole time.
But I was SO GOOD (like I said, it was an off day)! I didn't let it bother me - deciding to find it funny, I texted two friends and told them the tale. One of them expressed the appropriate sympathy, and the other laughed congenially at my predicament. Brat.
Lo, and behold! My bratty friend was not entirely a brat. See, we have this picture of a particularly hot guy that we text back and forth when we're having particularly bad days. So just when I'm wondering why she hasn't sent the picture, my phone beeps.
"New Picture Message!"
Until my brand new phone gets stuck in a perpetual "Receiving Message" loop that I can't break. For an hour and a half. That's right. I'm already home and dressed from my very interesting trip to the gym before my Dad takes the battery out of my phone and helps me reboot it.
I found out later that was the picture she'd sent. Sweet girl.