11:00 PM, yesterday evening. I'm finished with an assignment that I'm fairly confident about, I've studied for an exam that I have to take in my second class, and I'm feeling very rested as I curl up beneath my covers and drift into a peaceful sleep.
The Trickster smiled on me as I slumbered... with a certain maniacal glee that could only mean one thing.
Tomorrow was going to suck.
My alarm went off at 6:00 AM, and I awoke feeling refreshed. So refreshed, in fact, that rather than hit the snooze, I turned the alarm off and began getting out of bed. I foolishly reached for my spectacles.
[Foolishly? What foolishly, you ask? How can one foolishly reach for one's spectacles? Perhaps this isn't fair. Perhaps I foolishly leave my spectacles on the other side of my bed, so in reaching for them, I happen to stretch out across my bed... foolishly.]
Yeah, I fell back asleep. I intended to leave the house at 6:50. I woke up at 6:51.
I was out the door at 6:59:47 [Oh yeah, I was counting seconds at that point]
Anyway, I made it to class on time, so I felt somewhat better.
This feeling dissipated very quickly after my first class.
My major exam, in short, was a fail. Hardly a damn thing we studied was on the actual test, and the two questions we were required to answer did not fall into the realm of the "damn things we studied".
I started crying.
Yeah, not pretty.
After that, though, I recovered fairly well. I remembered more than I thought I did, and I was able to make at least a solid, passing grade [I can hope, anyways...]
And then I reached the final question.
I had no clue. None at all. A question worth a fourth of my major exam grade, and I have no idea.
Frantically, I search my brain for anything remotely resembling an answer.
I come up blank.
In a moment of desperation, my pen is poised to press onto the paper the most eloquent, vague, and impressive sounding garbage I can muster.
However, at the last minute, I stop.
Considering the fact that this professor has had 15+ years of education, 40+ years of teaching, and 60+ years of life experience... I can be fairly confident his hyperbole detector will go off in full force within seconds of eyeing my "Well, it can be said with a fairly certain level of plausibility that..."
This ain't happenin'.
It's Thursday. It's cold outside. We're ALL tired of exams at this point.
So, I wrote the following eulogy:
"The meaning of XYZ eludes my memory. I would make a guess, but I don't want to make you read eloquent BS this close to the weekend"
Feeling liberated, I turned in my exam and picked up my other assignment that he was handing back.
The inscription [next to the insufferably low grade] was as follows:
"You can do much better than this!"
And not a single damn was given.